Friday, September 23, 2011

What Does This All Mean?

Lately, I've been kind of melancholy. Do you ever get to a point where you aren't really sure you like yourself right now? Not in the "oh my gosh, I'm a horrible person and want to die" way, but just that "I'm not sure that who I am right at this moment is 100% who I really am".

I have this quote over there ------> by Anthony Robbins. It states:

“Live life fully while you're here. Experience everything. Take care of yourself and your friends. Have fun, be crazy, be weird. Go out and screw up! You're going to anyway, so you might as well enjoy the process. Take the opportunity to learn from your mistakes: find the cause of your problem and eliminate it. Don't try to be perfect; just be an excellent example of being human."

Reading it, I was reminded that I haven't been really living in the moment. I've been hiding a lot. I go home and I'm so tired, I either read in bed or watch TV until I fall asleep. I'm tired because all I do is read my Kindle or watch TV.

I miss my friends. I miss making plans and being active. More effort needs to be made on my part to be more actively involved. Not just a phone call here and there, but physically getting in my car and doing things. That's what centers me.

I feel so random most of the time. Like my thoughts aren't connecting in a way that form a complete sentence.

I've let being pregnant become who I am. Like planning a wedding. I was a bride-to-be. Somewhere in there I found a way to still be a friend and family member.

Do you ever feel like if you pulled one thread, everything else would fall into place? Something in my life needs to shift just slightly. I feel so left of center. I need to "find the cause of (my) problem and eliminate it."

Have you been here?

2 comments:

Jessica @ Points of Interest said...

I think what you need is for me to visit again, on a weekend you're actually around :)

Not really, and I know the feeling (but I can't blame it on being pregnant). Just do it! It's Friday. Call someone up! Go do something!

Death By Chocolate Martini said...

Thanks Jess! And yes, we need a GTG really soon. Before I'm as big as a house.