Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Mother's Day - Updated

Mothers Day is always a day in which I wake up wondering how the day will pan out. Some years it's the easiest thing, just another day. Most years, I want to crawl into bed and wake up when its over.

This year started out just like any year. I woke up, sent a silent wish to my mom for a Happy Mothers Day and got out of bed. About 1/2 way to the kitchen, I turned around and when straight back to bed.

About an hour and a half later, 20 minutes before we were to meet with Greg's parents and Grandmother for breakfast, I made my second attempt at getting up.

Back in bed after feeding the cats, I woke Greg up and told him he needed to get in the shower. Still in bed, I took a deep breath, cleared my mind and headed for the closet. I threw on the first shirt I could find, the jeans I wore yesterday and grabbed my black heels.

We made it through breakfast okay, but once we walked in the door to our house, the tears came. The grief sneaks in without a sound. Suddenly I'm gripped with the loss of my mother. The knowledge that no matter how many amazing women I'm celebrating today, the one who brought me into this world, the one whom with I share a strong bond, will not be physically here to celebrate the day that was made for us.

We have spent the day with Greg's parents and what started out as an anxiety riddled morning, has evolved into a numb, yet manageable day. This evening we have a softball game and then a dinner party with Greg's grandma. I had a wonderful phone conversation with my grandma and that may have been the saving grace of my day.

I wish all the mothers out there a wonderful day. And if you can read blogs from heaven, Happy Mothers Day Mom.

2 comments:

Reality Therapist said...

I'm not sure how to get to the rest of the post, but you have my interest, and I hope your day went great!

Jess to the Lo said...

I hope you were able to get up today. I wish I could give you a big hug.